Kate (Kato) Lambert AKA, Steamgirl

This page is about the Steam Punk designer and model Kate Lambert.

Not to be confused with the actress Kate Lambert of the TV series ‘Teachers’

For the record, Kate Lambert is indeed THE GREATEST clothing designer I have ever known personally.  Most definitely the greatest steampunk art and clothing designer on the planet.  Her work will live on as an example to generations. 

But then again, The same can be said for the work of Harvey Weinstein.

In 2012 I made the social network friendship of Kate Lambert who was interested in the construction of an adult website for her own nudes and those of other models featuring Steam Punk apparel she had designed.

At first the plan seemed fairly sound.  It was a type of adult entertainment not yet attempted and she seemed like a person capable of managing things properly.

Nothing could have been farther from the truth.

Right away she displayed an ineptitude for grasping the simple aspects of administration in just about anything.

She had no concept of web design, no ability to coordinate her own ideas, no real business licensing or registrations for any of her current or past work, no tax planning and no business plan.  It was a day by day process of teaching her basic life skills.

The real issues began when she sent over the first load of content to be uploaded to the site.  Among a slew of photo sets that were all in over sized RAW format were two poorly produced videos where Kate Appeared nude.  ALL of it needed long hours of re-rendering, edits and file size adjustments.

So the first 53 hours of work I did on the website were dedicated to fixing the images and video that her “professional photographer” had supplied.

During the editing process I noticed another issue.  Shortly before she began modeling, Kate got breast augmentation.  Seeing as she had gotten this done in 2011 and not 1984, I assumed that she had gotten the work done by a professional.

After seeing the mutilated and poorly conditioned result of her surgery on the photos and film, I was mortified.

I honestly would have trusted her “professional photographer” to have done a better job with breast augmentation than what ever quack Doctor actually performed it.

The scarring was enormous and the placement on the implants had been done without proper skin conditioning or tissue treatment.

If you see any of the final published product or anything she has published of herself since, you will notice a LOT of airbrushing around and especially under the breasts.

After I spent two weeks fixing the issues with the images and video, we ran into issues with the web designer we had hired to finish the site.  He had no idea what he was doing and threw the remaining work back at me.

By that time, Kato had not paid me a cent for any of the work and the project had languished into 2012.

I resigned from the development project, a website by the name of Steamgirl.com (now also stylerotica.com) and requested that If I was not going to get paid, if at least i could get the one portion of the agreement Kato had agreed to in writing, a full three piece steampunk themed cowboy attire.

To this day, Kato has never paid up.

I had reminded Kate repeatedly of the importance of proper contracting with models with respect to residual pay and personal image rights.

After I left the project she went with single pay contracts and no residual rights for the models.

After Steamgirl, Kato was hired by GSN to host a design competition show called Steampunk’d.

The show was cancelled after the first season.

In 2017 Kate formed a band by the name of DK-Zero as a vocalist and stage prop.

On each of the recorded tracks and in live performance Kate’s vocals are heavily augmented with auto tune and masking effects while the other vocalist belts out pure doucherock schlock worse than the yattering turds Nicleback generates.

I especially enjoyed this quote from the DK-Zero section of Kato’s wiki page:

“Their first full length music video, “iFeel”, passed 100,000 views on YouTube in just three months.”

ONLY THREE MONTHS to get 100,000 views?!  Hell, it takes NIN, YEARS to get that many for a new release!!

Since 2017 nothing has been heard of DK-Zero outside of some terrible remixes of terrible music.