My youth was a horrible place filled with self destruction and a constant cycle of inviting the worst human beings into my life in order to justify the sub-conscious pre-determination that, even though I was worthless, I was at least better than the company I kept.
This lead me to a pattern of dating sociopaths. This is typical of co-dependents and manic depressives. Sociopaths are the perfect drug for us.
NONE in my far to long history of repeating this pattern was worse than Kim Kuczynski.
In the summer of 99′ Kim swept me up via a mutual friend, Scott Owens, who had hit it big selling gigantic bags of extacy and convincing under age raver girls to do porn on his website.
Kim had been one of Scott’s models while also working at local strip clubs.
Kim was a cocaine addict with a vicious tendency to slander, smear and otherwise talk behind the back of every human being on the planet that she happened to know the name of.
At the time I had met her, she was engaged to a DJ who was more or less known in the Madison area and she had just gotten cosmetic surgery to enhance her nose and breasts.
Scott had been taking me around to raves and clubs to help him promote and do various gopher work to promote his websites.
Kim and I were instantly infatuated with each other for reasons I can hardly comprehend outside of drug and alcohol use. I had been dating a girl I had been pretty serious about for a few months prior.
I instantly dropped my current commitment for Kim. In my case, it was a first just ditching a relationship to get into a new one. For Kim it was a week end and the four other guys he was seeing at the time had no idea who I was. She hadn’t even broken off her engagement for much of the time she was sleeping with me.
The first time I ever did far to much cocaine was with Kim.
The first time I had ever had “performance issues” was the first time I was intimate with Kim.
She had invited me out for drinks as kind of a first date. We got buzzed, went back to her place and despite heavy petting and intense making out, there were factors draining me of the ability to have an erection.
Those factors were:
A: The giant pile of cat litter she had been piling into a closet for a year while never cleaning it out and the cats just going where ever they wished among the cat urine soaked hoarder’s paradise that was her apartment.
B: The botched and mangled mess that was her breast enhancement.
I once dated a girl who had a hand missing and that was not as hard to swallow as seeing a botched boob job up close for the first time.
*NOTE; when getting breast augmentation, NEVER do it cheap by allowing a doctor to slice two gigantic openings under your breasts and just stuffing the openings with large bags without at least first conditioning the skin to be stretched out by over FOUR TIMES your natural breast size.
Needless to say, the relationship did not last.
Kim’s personality was repugnant and at times mortifying to be around.
Once at a party, she convinced me to beat up a DJ by claiming he had touched her breasts. While I was carefully searching him out, getting him away to a less conspicuous area of the party and working the guy over, Kim had been outside in the smoking area buttering up some gangster emulator from Milwaukee and complaining loudly about her accusations against this DJ for nearly a half hour before I finally brought the guy out to apologize to her after slapping him around.
The poor guy was so blown out on MDMA, he would have admitted to exposing himself to a 4 year old if pressed properly. He had no physical ability to put up a fight or argue.
Kim did not accept the apology and the Oreo cookie she had been buttering up socked the guy in the ear while I already had him held. Then, he did a victory lap with Kim clapping him on.
I left Kim at the party and gave the DJ a ride home in Kim’s car.
Even after dealing with that kind of behavior I was pathetically addicted to her and followed her around like a puppy dog. Eventually, I grew out of it one night when I over heard her slathering the exact same pickup lines she had used on me to another guy at her birthday party.
I finally told her off and left.
Then she showed up at my house at 5 in the morning and tried to sleep with me again.
Sociopaths are motivated by their perception through the eyes of others. If you have walked out on higher ground, they WILL NOT let you go until they can turn it around.
I remained surprisingly tough and didn’t fall for it. But I paid for it in the end.
Though I had made a clean break, She began slandering me to who ever would listen.
If there was an after party I was going to, Kim had to be there. If a mutual friend was having a birthday, SHE had to be front and center at that party.
I kept hearing back from mutual friends, the stories about how I had been stalking her, how I couldn’t stop being everywhere she was.
Then one fateful evening I had an after party at my own apartment on East Washington.
I figured Kim would never have come.
Yet there she was. One of the friends she had brought had set himself up in the Kitchen sucking down as much alcohol as possible and spitting shade about me to who ever would listen.
Eventually I came into my own kitchen and he pointed me out and said, “hey , you are that Justin guy who keeps stalking Kim.”
He didn’t even know it was my apartment.
After kicking him out, Kim followed of course. They then trashed my neighbor’s porch on the lower level thinking they were still in my apartment.
Just after Christmas 2019, TWENTY YEARS LATER, the guy who was with her at that after party, a man by the name of Johnny Bazynski, began sending me replies on facebook posts explaining this vast conspiracy of slander and stalking my online content at Kim’s behest. He then quickly deleted the replies and blocked me. Over the years he had been systematically stalking every social network account I had and sending shade filled diatribes to female friends, exes and women I had been currently dating.
If Kim had actually put him up to it or not remains to be seen.
Maybe he was just another guy too pathetic to realize what kind of a person Kim really was.
The dedication is frightening.
To date, I still hear musings about Kim’s anger over me documenting all of it on my Livejournal and blog.
I honestly do not know if she is still that same, hateful and petty person. I would hope not but there is no way I would ever trust it if she was. I’ve never gotten an apology.
This is a person who relished in her ability to manipulate and hurt people, who said she loved to fight more than anything and a person with so little regard for animals that she let cats suffer in their own filth for years on end.
To say nothing for the money I loaned her, the time I spent cleaning her urine soaked apartment when she was evicted, the work I did on the car she was destroying or the litigation work I did for her when her landlords sued her.
After I had left Madison for a time Kim actually got married.
Her Husband Nathan (Nate) Marx was known by many in the area. A decent person who also had an addiction to dating sociopaths.
He ran the locally popular websites Madfam.com and www.corrode.org which , for their time, were about the best local social networking options in Madison.
From that point on, when ever I heard anything about Kim, it was concerning another guy she was cheating on Nate with.
Nate died suddenly of cancer in 2017.
In far to many ways, Nate’s death was a typical example of just how horrible and vapid American society has become. Very few people actually appreciated him for who he was and what he contributed simply because he didn’t fit a common mold.
Kim had attached herself to him in the same manner she had done to me. It was her way of diversifying herself by being with a person who was smarter, kinder and more in touch with those around him no matter how his own anti-social quirks ever got in the way.
This is a civilization of sociopaths eating away at any of the good left in the world.